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Where do I go? Posted by Rashid on Sunday, March 29, 2009

Since I need to let 40 minutes of my time pass by.. Maybe this is just where I'm supposed to be.

Seriously, I've been really experiencing a lot of emotional and mental struggles right now. And yes, mental struggles, you really did read that right. After being so emotional these passing days, maybe its time for my mind to take over. But then, my mind still don't have the answer to my very question, Where do I go?

I was at SM Megamall yesterday to meet up with some of my friends. I enjoyed and I was happy being with them. To think that this is a very good getaway for me, I should really have to enjoy. But, the going home part of that day kinda gave me the creeps.

As I was walking, lines like, "And now that I'm alone, do I have any plans to where to go to?", "Could I be able to go back here even when I'm alone?", "I think, its better for me if I'll just be staying at home..", "If I'm alone like this, how long will I keep on walking?", "Is it always fine to be just going out alone?", "Going out like this, there's no one I could argue with when it comes to where to eat.."

22 minutes more..

Am I just being so paranoid being alone? or am I exhibiting a fear of being alone? I even think that I'm experiencing depression to the point that I researched about the signs of how to tell if one is severely depressed.

I really want to be fine. I want to bring back the old me that smiles carefree. I know that a lot of things had changed and I personally know that I did change as well.

What I'm looking for now is a new path. A way to where I know and I can say that I belong. That I can be genuinely happy and can be free of worries and hate. Just how I wish that I could possibly see the light to all of these.

Maybe I'll just have to depend it on fate to drive my life out of these as what I had always been doing way back. I still believe that everything have its reasons. And this reason is what I want to know, why am I like this now and what this have to do with me on the things that would come.

I want to find answers to every questions that my mind has now. Maybe all I just have to do now is to live on.

Ozine Fest '09, See you there!

Labels: Personal